First, I'm SURE most of you who are flipping out are doing so over my very controversial statement, "No Wal-Mart." I want to calm your fears and assure you that I have not lost my mind. I just mean WMHB really. I'd still probably go to others, just those stores NOT in crime ridden areas.
Second, it's unlikely, but there are, perchance, a few of you flipping over something else I said.... the part about wives submitting to your husbands. As I imagined the response of certain friends, family and acquaintances, I thought it would behoove me (and my husband) to expound.
The verses I was referring to are Ephesians 5:22 and Colossians 3:18. Often, there are 2 types of nut-jobs who take these verses out of context purposefully distorting the words of the Bible in order to discredit it and make it sound archaeic and irrelevant. The first kind of Crazy is the mis-guided man who is trying to control his wife and treat her like a dog. Most of us can pick out those perfect talk-show-guest-weirdos and will have nothing to do with them. The second is, for lack of a better term, the liberal. I'm using this term to include feminists, athiests and other non-believers, and watered-down or feel-good "religious" groups. These people distort Biblical views and then supplant them with their own brand of reasoning which is made to sound logical and kind and accepting. Don't feel bad if you were flipping out about what I said, don't feel bad if you've been influenced by one of these 2 types of idiots - they are everywhere, they are mainstream, and they purposefully try to be palatable. But don't dismay. Feel good. If you actually happen to still be reading, you may just get a better understanding of these verses and the Biblical view of husbands and wives - not like I'm some expert, but I do pay attention at church.
First, let's look at this word "submit." Based on my knowledge of the Bible, I am thoroughly convinced that this does NOT mean that a wife must "keep her mouth shut" or not give her husband her opinion. It does not make her worth less than the man. Why?
1. When God created Adam (Gen.) he saw it was not good for him to be "alone." Keep in mind that he wasn't alone alone. The animals were already made. God initially created Eve as a "help meet" for Adam. A partner, a companion, a helper... NOT a servant, NOT property. God gave Adam "dominion" over the animals.... nowhere in this passage does it say "dominion" over Eve.
2. When married, the two are to become one flesh. How can you become one flesh if you disregard, ignore, abuse, etc. the one half?
3. Just because I have to "submit" to someone does not make me worthless. If you don't know this from employment experience (chain of command), well... you musn't have had a job yet. Additionally, the Bible tells us here to submit, but says in Proverbs that a good woman is worth more than rubies.
Next, let's look at the context of each verse. We don't even need to see the whole book or chapter. Just including an extra verse or two helps out. First, you should know that these books of the Bible (actually letters from a guy named Paul) were written in Greek (I'm almost positive, just going from memory here), and in Greek, there are three or four words for our one word "love." One is philos, or brotherly/friendly love (like Philadelphia). Another is eros, or passionate love (like erotic). Another is agape. This is the Greek word translated "love" in these two verses. Agape love in ancient Greek is used to mean content with, hold in high regard. Often it is seen in the New Testament being associated with self-sacrificing love. As you can see in Eph 5:25, it clearly says that husbands are to love your wives sacrificially (as Christ). In verses further down, it says that husbands should love their wives as their own flesh.
Eph 5
22. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
23, 24
25. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
Col 3
18. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.
19. Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
Instead of looking at one verse and seeing one side of the story, we need to look at BOTH sides of the issue in context. Isn't marriage a "two-way street?" Doesn't it "take two to tango?" If we see a marriage as one unit (one flesh) made of two distinct parts and the symbiotic relationship between the two parts, we get a more complete understanding of this whole marriage thing.
Let me ask you this, if your husband is loving you sacrificially, more or as much as he loves his own flesh, will it be easy for you to submit to him? I argue you'll WANT to submit to a man like that - a man who always puts you first.
Let me ask you this, husband - if your wife respects you, makes you feel important and needed, actually listens to and HEARS what you are saying, values and appreciates you - will it be easy for you to love her sacrificially? I argue that you'll WANT to put her first, ahead of yourself.You see, I truly believe:
-"submit" is not a demeaning word
-each person in a marriage has a role/purpose/job to do in order to make the partnership work
-God has set up a chain of command in families (like most jobs) to help things run smoothly
the accountability for that family ultimately lies with the man (the buck stops here kinda thing)
- a godly wife and mother is more valuable than rubies (Prov 31:10) and is the greatest asset a man can have
So, if you have read this far - thanks. If the word submit still makes you cringe, it's late and I may not have been a little (quite a bit) babbly. Email me and I can give you some more info and examples. If you think I'm crazy. That's OK too. If you feel sorry for me.... trust me.... don't. =)
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