I Survived

Well, I survived my thirtieth birthday. .... It was touch-and-go for John.
Although I was cranky the entire day, I managed to only tear-up once. It's not that 30 is bad or necessarily old. I mean really, if I happen to be blessed with my grandmothers' genes, I'm still only in the 2nd quarter of the game!
I think hitting 30 just symbolized the end of an era for me. John was having a hard time understanding why I was so disturbed. I was, in fact, "just the same as (I was) yesterday." I do have a great husband, wonderful babies and good health. Then, instead of being cranky at him, I was feeling really upset with myself for being so self-indulgent. What is wrong with me?
Then tonight, as I'm drafting this post, it hit me. He's totally right. I AM fundamentally the same person I was yesterday, 2 weeks ago, ... and 15 years ago. Although I've grown soooo much as a person in soooo many ways, part of me is still that same little girl. Looking back, all of my big developmental milestones (driving, development, etc.) were hilarious catastrophes (some of you know what I'm talking about =) Why should turning thirty be any different for me? I mean, that's what I do! I'm a little bit goofy and mal-adjusted .... and that, strange as it may be, that has brought me peace with the whole turning 30 thing =) (well, pretty much =)

PS HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESS!

The Mid-Life Crisis

So it's true. I'm turning 30 this year. Ever since I turned 29 I've been telling everyone that all I want for my 30th birthday is botox, restalane, and my vericose veins done. Sometime in the Fall, I realized that as my birthday got closer, my "to do" list got longer and longer =) Just a couple months ago I signed up to receive a "free" trial of anti-wrinkle cream. All I had to pay was S&H. Of course, when I got it, I was automatically enrolled in the "club" and would receive a new one every 2 months and would only be charged $59.99 per bottle. I even had John take an up-close picture of my face so I could tell if the cream was making a difference. I asked him if he could see the wrinkles on the photo when zoomed. I took it out his hand, looked at the screen and said, "eoouuuw. Sick. You can!" That's when it hit me, "I'm really having a hard time with this 30 thing." I mean, I can remember when my mom was in her 30's. Seriously!

Last night John told me "you've got to get it together hun!" and "you weren't this concerned when I was having my mid-life crisis a couple years ago!" {Ooops! That's what that was? I just thought his many jobs were driving him crazy (driving him to move to MT!)}

But I know. The logical side of me knows that "(I'm) goin'a miss this." That I'm going to look back on 30 and think, oh, that was such a wonderful time...my kids were so cute... they still thought I was cool... my husband was so cute... and I still thought HE was cool =)... and my hair was soooo NOT gray... and where are those wrinkles I was worried about!?!

So, I've decided. THIRTY IS GOING TO BE GREAT. I've talked myself into things much more difficult to believe than this. =)